I Blew It & Cheated! How Do I Get Her Back?

‘Oh My God, I cheated on her.  I blew it! Now what?   How do I get her back?’

You must be doing some serious thinking right now. You cheated on her, but you want to get her back? An affair doesn’t always mean the end of a relationship; but it takes a lot of work to put things right. If both of you want to keep your relationship alive after the affair, you need to regain her trust. You broke a very solemn vow when you cheated on her. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t married; she trusted you to be faithful even without the ring. So now you have to do everything in your power to regain that trust.

You have to determine the whys of what went wrong and what caused you to stray in the first place. Why did you cheat on her? Was she putting in too many hours at the office? Had the sex become ho-hum? Did she stop taking care of herself? You need to have a serious heart to heart with yourself and answer these questions honestly. And then you have to have a heart to heart with her.

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Don’t delude yourself into thinking that all that was wrong in the relationship was her fault. Was she working long hours because it brought more needed money to your relationship? Did the sex become ho-hum because you stopped thinking about her needs? Did she stop taking care of herself because you stopped noticing when she did take the time and energy to look nice?

One step to getting her back, it to not just talk the talk, you must walk the walk. Promise her that you will do things and do them! If she needs you to take out the trash, do it. And do it every time it needs to be taken out without her having to remind you. If you have been putting off household chores, do them now and then ask what else needs to be done. Building back her trust won’t be easy, but if you show that you can follow through on small things, she will begin to trust you on the larger issues in your relationship.

Don’t mislead yourself into thinking that just by doing small things around the house are going to be enough to build back her trust. She is going to understandably need continuing assurance that she can trust you. She is going to throw your indiscretion in your face more than once, and she is entitled to do so….just suck it up and take it! This doesn’t mean that you should be ‘in the dog house’ forever, just realize that she needs time to get over the fact that you cheated on her.

Rebuilding trust in a relationship takes time and patience. But given those two factors and that you and your girlfriend or wife want to give your relationship another chance, you will come out of this difficult time a stronger couple.

You never would have cheated in the first place if your relationship was all roses and sunshine. There are great guides  to help you in fixing your possible damaged but not yet broken relationship. Whether you cheated on her, or she cheated on you, this book can help you get through the toughest of times.

Read our review of relationship advice products to help you get her back